Where'd he go?

Good question. June 2010? My last post.... Time do fly. But I had lost it. Lost my positivity. Didn't feel like writing about positive things. When your household income drops by 2/3, and you have debts and bills, it's hard to be positive. The tunnel seems unending and dark and "the light at the end" must be around the next curve, 'cause there ain't no light visible.

But then, a glimmer appears. It's faint, you're not sure it's really there. Like a star in the sky that you can see in your peripheral vision, but then disappears when you look at it directly. But you believe it's there. You want to believe. You want to be positive.

In a new business, the glimmer dims and brightens; with it, sometimes, my enthusiasm for entrepeneurship. I've called it an emotional roller coaster, but that is inaccurate. I've yet to see any dizzying heights and the downward flight is rather muted, tame. It's more like a kiddie coaster. I want to get in line for the Beast. Bring on the Beast.

This summer I kept hearing about a drought in Texas and I kept thinking, "I know how they feel." It was a S L O W summer for business. I should have taken a vacation, but with neither income nor credit, that was impossible. Even the drives to the family cottage cost over $50 roundtrip, plus boat gas, oil, and miscelaneous costs. When you have insufficient income, $100 is a lot of money to spend in one weekend.

I've come to appreciate the value of a dollar. Three years ago, I thought little of spending $50 on something I wanted. Clothing, computer accessories, tools, toys, whatever. That has changed dramatically. Rarely is there an extra $50 to spend. When there is, I start to wonder which bill I have forgotten to pay. And then the autodialer starts ringing your phone and you stop wondering. The autodialers are mean, cold hearted, dialing bastards. They wear you down. Finally, you answer the call. Unless you make the representative happy, the calls will continue - even when you've explained the situation. Unless they get cash, the dialer cannot be abated. Only when it gets fed does it stop dialing. It doesn't care. It just wants to eat.

I am beginning to see the glimmer more often and it appears to be brighter. But I fear the next slowdown will come and, once again, I will question what I am doing. Whether I can provide for my family and resume the path to retirement. But strategies are emerging to protect us from the dips.

Life is truly an adventure. I have a wonderful family and a devoted wife. My dad is about to turn 92 and remains in good health and is active and bright. We've been blessed in many ways for many years. The drought will end, storms will come and the storms will pass; the clouds will part and something good will grow. We must be patient and remain positive. Good things happen when you keep good thoughts. Negativity leads you down a path of fear, remorse and missed opportunity. So smile today. Make someone else smile. Then consider all of your blessings and give not a thought to the hurdles you face, except to plan where to plant your foot.